Well Im not going to lie... I thought long and hard first before starting this. I'm on a journey. Not like the journey so many others are thinking of doing because of the popularity of a Julia Roberts flick based on a book about doing 3 things we should all do and enjoy regardless... just a journey of ME. Call it what you will.. finding yourself, taking time for yourself, re-upping, whatever. Here it is the stories of ME. Things that have happened, journeys I have taken, some Ive maybe not wanted to or liked, but I did anyway. Some out of selfish human behavior. Other things out of need and want for better, for me or my family.
Excuses got me nowhere in life. Ive finally caught onto that. Also being non trusting is hard to overcome.. but flipping the other opposite direction is VERy dangerous and can (and WILL) leave you in a place perfectly set for disaster. Strongholds in my life use to have a ton of power.. and often lately they still do, but I battle it a little better each and every day.
What makes me want to write this? Im not entirely sure. Nor am I sure that many will ever see it, but it helps. It helps with the long lonely nights and days while my husband is away working. He is an interesting character himself in this entire scheme of things. My best friend.. my confidant.. the one and only person other than my children that I KNOW loves me completely unconditionally. he is my rock.. and I am not tooting my own horn, but I am his as well. His life owuld be UPSIDE DOWN if it wasnt for me.. and the same holds true on the flip side for me. Cliche Im sure, but we complete each other.. but in the situation of the hand we have been dealt, he has to be away from me a lot for work. Mostly to provide for his obligaitons to his older children from his previous marriage.. and Im not bitter about it. We just work through what we can int he best way we can and make things work. Its just very hard on me to not have him here to talk to. Yes we talk online and on the phone a lot, but it isnt the same as laying in bed with his arm around me.. chatting about everything, or about nothing. Laughing and feeling no pressure to fit everyhting in before we lose conneciton or have to hang up for the night so we get adequate rest. HAH.. adequate rest.. what is that exactly? Whole nother story... Ill save it for later.
So now Im sitting here thinking Ive rambled.. and I have, but it felt good. My mind is more at ease and I am set to exhist another few hours peacefully as me. Laugh if you want, but doing that can be hard work in my life.
Hope someone reads.. and I really hope everyone enjoys the journey. Should be interesting.
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